Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Today, I feel like I just got out of the Ocean and I can't stop the bobbing, the motion of pushing forward and being slammed back.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Youth

I was flipping through one of my favorite books today, This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and I found this underlined quote. 

"Youth is like having a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy.  They don't.  They just want the fun of eating it all over again."

Youth is a constant theme in my poetry and this quote really sums up the feeling I try to create of finally being part of something you've been anticpating your whole life, like first love.


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Like Crazy

I watched this movie called Like Crazy the other day; I'm about to spoil it so if you have plans to watch it you should stop reading.


Anyways, the two characters fall madly in love in college; she overstays her student visa by shacking up that summer with her new beau.  After a trip home to England, Immigration refuses to let her back in the US due to violating her visa.  Thus begins a tumultuous long distance relationship that leads to fights, relationships with others, and an English marriage.  They both seem to have fallen in love with others and I start to think that this movie is about growing up and losing your first love.  Not it.  The same night her new boyfriend proposes to her she finds out the US has legalized their English marriage.  Next thing I know they have left their new lovers and reunited; only they look completely miserable. The last scene is them in the shower and she just gets out... the end.  Usually I like indie movies with pretty soundtracks that require me to think, but I'm just not getting the meaning here.  The characters are impulsive, but the ending isn't this big romantic gesture where they take a chance on love and it makes all the difference.  It's almost as if the whole movie is an answer to the question, "Is love enough?" and their answer is no.  I think they either broke up or they stayed together only their happiness never matches that of the first summer together.  They kept pushing for something they thought they wanted, but maybe if she never left the US they would have broken up anyways.  It feels like at the end they got what they were fighting for, each other, only they didn't want it anymore.



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Memory

Sometimes the words in my journal come from lyrics I either completely mishear or remember completely wrong.  For days I've been singing this song in my head that I used to listen to on repeat in 2008.  I wrote down what I was singing and then listened to the song again. 

Journal:

Ran, Ran, Ran, I ran
Which way I go I have no reasoning
So far gone, So far gone
In the end
That music keeps turning
Like a holy rollin secret to the grave.

Song:

Where to Begin by My Morning Jacket


I mean I got some words right.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Hi World, Miss You

I haven't been as dedicated to this blog as I have been in past years. When I first started the blog it was an outlet for my emotions and then it grew into a place where I shared my poetry and for a while it was a place to share my crafty side. Today I'm going back to my roots to share a memory that I'd like to think most can relate to.




My home growing up had 4 huge trees squashed in this little suburban front yard. Each fall the leaves would crinkle down creating a blanket of brown that crunched with each step. See in Texas the leaves do not change into the beautiful reds and oranges New Hampshire boasts, but instead one day you come home and the end of summer would be signaled by droves of rough brown dripping from the branches, their texture akin cardboard. My Dad would send me and my sisters out there on a Saturday with the promise of $1 per bag of leaves. This may seem like a rough deal, but if you had seen that lawn you would know there was a killing to make especially if you didn’t quite fill every bag full. We would rake together piles of leaves and then two would hold the bag as one person scooped leaves in with the rakes that were bigger than us and try not to completely miss. Eventually we would get bored or the wind would swoop in destroying our hard work while also shaking more leaves down to the Earth and then it was time for the fun. We would run and jump into the pile of leaves. The scalloped edges would cling to our hair and clothes. We would sit there laughing together even if moments before we were fighting over who had to hold the bag. Handfuls of leaves would get tossed in the air to rain back down on us and it was just like a moment in a movie only it happened about a dozen times a year. It’s amazing the simple things that made us so happy; it was so easy. The joy of a child is so special and even though I remind myself to have that joy now it’s not as easy the more years of life you lead in a world that can leave you jaded. One day with my kids I hope to sit on the damp earth feeling the rough cardboard leaves in my hands. I hope to toss them in the air and let them graze my skin and stick to my hair. I hope to laugh as I did with my sisters in a moment that evokes pure joy.




Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Paris is never a bad idea

I finally took my dream vacation to Paris!  Even made time for some stops in Brussels and Amsterdam. 
  
Before a night on the town cheering on Paris Saint Germain
  
The view from our hotel - Hotel des Invalides

Brussels!

Date Night in Amsterdam
Vondelpark

Traveling always reminds me of how beautiful the world is and how much bigger this place is than me.  Being back now I'm full of wanderlust seeking my next adventure.  Instead of being stuck in this town I want an overgrown forest with pink buttercups hiding from the rain with nymphs weaving in and out their tulle catching the barks' edges.  I would sit on a stone in my fairy dress or maybe I would dance in the first clearing I came to.  I would do something more than sit in a room with walls made of paper.  I would walk into the world and say "Here I am, let's go play."

Friday, February 3, 2012

The girl with flowers in her hair


I was just a girl with flowers in my hair
and you were just the boy who loved me